|The Good Life: Mom, my partner in life|
|May 09, 2013 Lisa Betz|
Mothers deserve more than one day out of the year to be honored. As with all holidays, we wouldnít need this specially designated day if we simply lived in gratitude and love as we should do, honoring our mother, our Valentine, our father as we live each day.
Iíve never been one who bah humbugged these special holidays though. I like having a designated day for honoring special people in my life. I enjoy Cousinís Day too, even if it is just a post on Facebook that causes me to think about how much I love them. I told my mom just the other day that I doubted my cousins even know how much I love them because I hardly ever see them, yet they are big in my heart.
Now back to mothers and Motherís Day. No mother/child relationship has ever been the same in all of history. Think of that.
Mothers everywhere are the first beings in our lives to teach us about love. It is the nourishment they provide us before birth, the first touch as a newborn, the mirror in their eyes as they look into our soul when we take our first breath. Our motherís love for us sets us on our course in life.
Like many daughters experience, my mom and I have gone through numerous cycles of change in our lives together. From being dependent, becoming independent, needing a button sewn on, a prom dress made, moving away, needing advice, needing help, a sympathetic ear, a divorce; my mother has been my partner and friend, and has never given up this belief that I am destined for great things. If only we could all see ourselves as our mother sees us, the potential in us for greatness. Of course, my mom also sees my flaws, and rarely does she point them out, unless there is a serious need to do so.
I am one of the most fortunate women I know because I can honestly say that my mother is my soul mate. I donít use the term in any romantic way, as many often do. For me, a soul mate is a person who is like a lifetime partner, part of your soul family, one that youíve probably lived multiple lifetimes with, being mother, daughter, sister, friend, and swapping roles along the way. (Yes, I believe in reincarnation.) And this is the only thing that explains to me the relationship I have with my mom. She is all of the things I described, and even my business partner, although that only works well because we both agree that I am the boss. Not too many moms could handle their child being the boss, but my mom does a pretty good job of it. She has costumed plays I have directed, and she willingly plays the role of support staff in shared projects, because after all, someone has to take the lead, and I do.
Mom and I have taught each other many things over the years, swapping interesting books, discussing religion, philosophy, metaphysics, and we both seem to be fascinated equally with these topics.
Of all the people in my life whom I have encountered as friends, family and loved ones, my mom is the soul mate of this life. And while we have our ups and downs, she is the one person I donít ever want to be without. Chances are that I will have to learn how to do that someday, but for now, I canít even consider that.
I have watched my mother grow as a person throughout her life. Children often see their parents as finished products, people who have it all figured out, but thatís not true of any of us, no matter how long we live. My mother is compassionate, kind, wise and becoming more beautiful every day. She is also quirky and fun. Friends throughout my life have always adored her and have even given her the nickname of Foxy.
No matter my certainty about big decisions I am making, it is always important for me to have her nod of approval. Thatís just the way it is for me. It seems that in the last few years though, I have been driving the bus, going to her with ideas like buying our building here on 10th Street, buying the paper from Jim and doing things on the farm that I want to do.
It might seem strange to think of oneís mother as a lifetime partner or soul mate, but there is no other way I can describe the importance of my mother, Nina Betz. She is pure brilliance, not perfect, but perfect for me, the perfect mother for me in this lifetime. And I know that I had better mind my Ps and Qs, for who knows, perhaps in our next lifetime, she will be the boss, the one driving the bus, and I will be on the support staff.